i'm engorged with venom, and triumph.

I posted awhile back about fancy gymnastics-themed cakes, right?  Well, maybe the bakers read my blog (right) because all of a sudden, the cakes got SO much better!

Some are just adorable.  Like, this one makes me want to have kids just so I can throw them parties with cake.

Yeah, the bars are a little wonky.  And blue.  And the beam is a nice shade of maroon.  I don't even care, because little Precious Moments kids are wearing leos and headbands.   The fondant is shiny and awkward, but I don't give a crap.  Headbands.

This involves rhythmic gym, but OMG.  My cuteness meter just exploded.

WHAAAT???  How would you even cut that?  I would cry if I even tried.  That is so cute, it freaks me out.

I love the colors in this one.

The doll is so 60s-70s, I love it.  Small deductions for the flexed feet and short sleeved leo.  Other than that, a perfect 16.725.

This is where we start our descent into what I call "Not So Much."

The bars were a nice effort, even if the girl is just humongous.  And I'm digging the poofy 80s rolled down socks.  Reminds me of DJ Tanner.  The beam is where it starts to get sketchy.  The gymnast looks like she's going through an exorcism, another victim of head-on-backwards disease.  The beam also appears to be a tree trunk.  While matching the pommel horse, which also looks like a home for the Keebler Elves.  Also, you can't see it entirely in this pic, but there's also some inexplicable round thing by the pommels.  Just an orange round thing. 

This one's just... what???  Like, I checked, it wasn't for a yoga party.  It was for a gymnastics party.

Just a girl, face down in the mats.  I mean, yes, I guess you could feasibly see this position at some point in time, but really?  Of ALL the positions in the world, you choose FACEPLANT?

I, for one, am not a huge fan of polyester hair in my food.  That's just me.

Still kind of cute though.  I'd like to think that that's Alicia on the trampoline, Nastia on floor, and Bross on beam.

This girl's just dangling her leg off of the side.  OK.

Nice handstand position though.  And the kid... is he doing a bridge??  Or some weird crabwalk?

And last, but not least, we have.... this.

I don't really even know what's going on here.  The air traffic controller/rhythmic dancer.  The kid in the red's either doing a bridge or some sort of Bogi dance.  The bumblebee splits are the only thing that even kind of make sense in this picture.  Throw in some shiny rust colored flesh, and a few random flowers, and voila.

Gymnastics cake.

... i don't walk into your house and steal your hello kitty backpack.

So, I was over at  Full In Full Out, because I'm obsessed with her blog and read it like every day, and she had written asking for some gymnastics-themed cake suggestions.  Apparently, she is very into gymnastics and cake.  I too, am very into in gymnastics and cake.  Another hint that we're probably internet soul mates.  So naturally, I had to rip off her gym cake post idea.

Anyhoo, I went over to Cake Central, because they have absolute buttloads of user-submitted cake photos, and it's the best place to pilfer ideas.  Since they're awesome, they had a good number of really neat gym cakes! 

Let's have a look-see.

This one is hands down my favorite.  

They're monkeys!!  On the bars!  Monkey bars!!  Get it??  Look at their little headbands!  I think the detail is great, and according to the baker, the monkeys, bananas, and balls were all made out of gumpaste.  I have some paste, but I haven't tried working with it yet.  Looks tricky.

Seriously, what a rad cake to have at your gym party.

Now, I like this one, even though it features rhythmic gym as opposed to artistic gym.  Maybe it's just my penchant for extraordinarily long legs.  

I'm not a huge fan of the girl doing the back walkover.  Obviously, that position is just kind of fug, and the leotard, while accurate, is offensively shiny.  But she does have good hand placement.  So there's that.  The girl in the red has a very Romanian seeming leo, which is cute.  They all three have good toepoint, and those medals are precious.

This one isn't as gym-themed, but I still really like it.  Maybe it's the little chunky kid on the beam.  I also like the homage to the "perfect 10."

I miss you, perfect 10.  

Now, I'm not a gigantic fan of men's gymnastics, and even less of a fan of the stupid pommels, but this is a seriously cute cake.

Fondant and gumpaste over a stacked cake.  I'm always in awe of carved cakes.

I like this one because it includes the whole gym.  Except, mind you, the vault.  But close enough.

Paige is a beast though, holy balls.

Not all of the cakes were awesome, unfortunately.  Like, this one, in theory, should be totally cute.

Pink and brown can be ok, and the ribbons are a nice touch.  The structure is a little strange... like, is the rectangular piece supposed to be a beam?  But what really threw me off here was the placing of the toppers.  Call me a perv, but the first thing I see here is 69.  It took me a second to realize that was a 6, and then a gymnast.

This one is just lumps.  Brightly colored lumps.  Cool idea for the bars, but the rest... why is there a red car??

And finally, we have a very special cake.  It's just... special.

Where to start?  The beam looks like it's made out of cookie dough, which now that I think of it, actually sounds pretty tasty.  The brownness of the frosting skeeves me out.  All cracking and bubbling.  You really couldn't make it go all the way to the bottom?  And I don't know what those little colored shards are for, but they don't look very appealing either.  Last but not least, the gymnast.  I think her head's on backwards, or at least, I hope it is.  And I'm sure there was a way to not give her ape arms.  I'm sure of it. 

So yes.  Many gymnastics cakes to behold.  Should I ever have kids, and let's be honest, that will probably never happen, they are getting gymnastics themed birthday cakes every single year.  Unless they're boys, in which case they get hockey cakes.