The Best of Ebay

As expected, the entire planet is now a part of Fab Five mania.  (I hate the word "fierce" with a passion fiery and true.  I refuse to use it.)  Of course, NBC and Sheryl Shade aren't the only ones out to make a buck off of the superstar teenagers.  I went to Ebay to see who else had the entrepreneurial wherewithal to sell a bunch of crap with the Fab Five name on it. 

Let's start with ridiculously priced stuff.  $175 for a signed picture?  No thanks.  And let's talk about photo choices.  Those looking to suck all they can from the Gabby Douglas name have bunches and bunches and bunches of fantastic pictures to choose from.  Please don't pick like, the one in existence that isn't flattering, and then ask me to pay $100 for it.   

The same can be said for this horrible Maroney shot.  Like, of all the awesome vault and random other pictures there are to choose from, you pick one where's she ass down on the vault mats.  Yes, let me frame this moment forever!  I can't imagine anyone other than Paseka or maybe Belu and Bitang bidding on this. 

 

Now we have some random upside down crap, some of which also belongs in the stupid price group.

Here's some random garbage, and I don't really know what most of it is.  I mean, I know that's a horrible, awful, no good leotard on the bottom, but the rest is pretty iffy to me. 

If we might revisit the Gabby Douglas moochers, we'll seemingly find a bunch of people who are pumped to bank on the good Dougie name.  A black Barbie- MUST be Dougie!  Here's 50 bucks.  That shirt looks like it was photoshopped, and does not appear to follow human proportions. 

So that junk is tacky, but this next one is just shameful.  Shocking, just shocking that it comes compliments of Excalibur.

Like, let's talk about this.  So I, Spanny F. Tampson, am to buy a cheap used shirt worn by some random coach from the gym Gabby used to train at, and you want me to pay over $200 for it??  GTFO.

I mean, clearly this person was super duper close to "Abby" and has only good intentions from shamelessly trying to mooch off of her name.  Again, I cannot believe this came from those classy folks over at Excalibur. 

And to top us off, here's a $35 Kmart photo of Jaycie Phelps.  Because why not?

i fell off a cruise ship

This is what I do when I'm called off of work at the last minute.

I am clearly growing delirious with boredom.

This reminds me that I think Dougie should add a super crazy high Hindorff to her routine. 

That's a delightful headless double layout dismount. 

So, I think I may have found this one Barbie on Ebay that I have spent the last year or so hunting for.  This is the fucking MESSIAH of gymnastics Barbies.  It's not actually a gymnastics Barbie, per say, but it is absolutely built for Spanny Tampson Barbie gymnastics glory.  This isn't your 1996 Olympic Gymnast Barbie with the blonde hair and flat feet with ribbons.  Oh no.  This is something else.  The auction is over in five days, so here's hoping my paltry bid wins.  And if it does, WATCH OUT INTERNET!  Vintage gymnastics Barbie is coming for you.