Comic-Sans Dreams: Asking Your Sister to the Dance

Want more crazy dreams?  We've got 'em. 

As before, please refer to Uncle Tim's find, this Moceanu Dreams page.  It is not to be missed. 

Let's move on.  Big preggos tire easily. 

*click to enlarge, but you should know that by now.*

Comic-Sans Dreams: In the Style of Domi

Our dear, hilarious friend Uncle Tim has happened upon a treasure in the form of mid-90s websites dedicated to America's Sweetheart, one Miss Dominique Moceanu. 

Did you have dreams about Domi?  Did you scribble haikus about Nique during pre-calc?  Or maybe you went all out, and composed an epic poem detailing how you and the young Olympian would be together forever and ever, so very in love. 

Or maybe you had a dream about training with "Nique" and then taking her up into your "Chopper" for a ride. 

This guy did, and then submitted it to AAA Dominique: Dominique Moceanu.  The extra As stand for "Awesome All-Around American," so it appears they're missing an A.  Close enough. 

Let's take a peek into the dreams of James S., shall we?

*All typos and spelling errors are his own, as well as horrible choice of font.*  

**And as always, please click on the pictures to make them larger.  Enjoy!**

Where's Waldo/Dominique?

Man oh man.  Didn't the Olympic Trials look like fun?  The stars of 2000 hanging out, being real.  This is what life is all about!

Sometimes I forget that Dominique Moceanu was a force at that time.  Her book would certainly have you think that she hadn't competed between the years of 1998-2005, but alas, she was a large part of the scene in both 1999 and 2000.  So it makes perfect sense that she would be a part of the Year 2000 Hot Bitches Who Are Fabulous group.

This encouraged me to rack my brain, and try to remember where else I could place my childhood hero, one Miss Moceanu.  Is she not everywhere all of the time?  Is she not gymnastics' very own Waldo?

Yes.  Yes she is.

A true ambassador of the sport.  May we all continue to be blessed with her presence for years to come.

i love repartee... it usually means there's a battle scene coming.

Oh, Svetlana Khorkina, you crafty bitch.  The eternal nemesis to my Dominique Moceanu.  See, in my eyes, anyone who competed against Domi was evil.  So you had Sveta, Atler, and Shannon Miller, all three who would be played by the tallest, nastiest, grubbiest barbies I had laying around.  We actually used to have an old Peggy Fleming barbie, who was quite androgynous.  We gave her an even worse haircut than she already came with, and renamed her Tranzie.  Tranzie would often be cast as Khorkina.  Domi, on the other hand, would always be played by Stacie, this awesome, flexible doll, who was one of Barbies many little sisters.  Bitch had some busy parents.

Stacie was the poo.  She had flexible joints, INCLUDING bendy ankles and a bendy back.  She came clad in this awful full-body outfit... just like Julianne McNamara in the world's best ASS (after school special, you pervs.)  Naturally, she needed a makeover.

Old Stacie/Domi:

New, Awesome Makeover Stacie/Domi!

The short hair allows her to balance, and no longer throws off her twists.  What?  A 28 year old woman altering her old dolls in order to give them quicker rotation weirds you out?  Well eff you. 

Where was I going with this... oh yes.  Khorkina.  I made a montage of our dear, sweet Sveta.  I don't still hate her... well, kind of.  OK, so I don't hate her, I'm just unimpressed.  I respect her originality, and I truly wish more girls would try the Khorkina transition.  But that's about it.  I never saw her toe-dragging as choreography, and her landings constantly made my knees hurt. 

So this montage emanates from the idea that maybe Svetlana Khorkina was not the greatest, most fanstastic, fault-less gymnast of all time.