at least i don't have to listen to his stupid theories on how super mario brothers changed civilization.

And yet, another montage.

Maybe I need a break or something.  I'm just not feeling so motivated.  I keep starting them, and then scrapping them.  And what I do finish, I'm not thrilled with.  Like this one.  I like it an appropriate amount, but... meh.  I'm just no good with slower videos.  But it's like, what, am I just NOT going to make a montage to the Glee version of "Dream On"?  As if. 

Whatever.  Here it is.

It's just sort of a mishmash of people who have been/are in the running for the next few years.  I'm generally not a huge fan of videos with long, drawn out clips of routines we've all seen a billion times, but I ended up using them anyway.  It was also hard to find videos that matched the intensity of the song, you know?  The most exciting thing I could find was Nastia winning, and while that was thrilling and all, it was almost two years ago.  In the words of Eddie Murphy/Janet Jackson:

 "What have you done for me lately?"

I want something new, something thrilling.  I waited for the NBC Pac Rim coverage, but then I remembered that nothing exciting happened there either.  So what's a girl with no life to do?

More Glee montages.  Probably.

you can't feed a child sheet music. i suppose you could, but they'd be dead in a month.

The hair.

THE HAIR. 

I know I picked on mostly NCAA girls last time, but rest assured, the problem does not solely lay within the collegiate ranks.  It transcends borders.

Case in point:

Nicole Hibbert.

I'm not going to lie.  I teared up a little bit while watching the team final for this year's Euros.  GB was so excited, the commentators were so excited, I was excited.  It was one of the first exciting team finals in a long time, and they absolutely deserved their placement.

But this...

THIS!

I'm a Jew, I have a lot of hair.  So the difficulties involving thick buns are not lost on me (hint: LOTS of pins and scalp pain.) 

It's not the Parkette's cornrows.  They're tacky, but whatever, they work.  They keep hair out of the face, and that is always good.  What kills me is the mile-high bun on top of the head.  Aside from turning a very pretty girl (Hibbert is gorgeous, for the record) into one of my pre-makeover gymnastics barbies, doesn't it also, like, eff with her aerodynamics?  It's like if I tried to vault while wearing one of Lady Gaga's top hats on my head.

It would be significantly harder, I would think.

And that's all I have to say about that.

i've grown weary of your insults. they sting. and they make me want to punch your face.

Another rousing edition of ...

WTF WEDNESDAY

Kind of light this week.  For several reasons.  I got a job, so that's awesome/sucks.  And there just aren't as many wacky things out there these days. 

Let us begin.

Something about Memmel screams herb, apparently.  This isn't the first time Youtube has made this connection. 

Now, I think it's a little harsh to call A-Sac a global crisis. It's not like the world imploded when she fell off of beam.  Well, maybe a little bit.  But it so wasn't a global crisis. 

And what the FUDGE does UCLA have to do with breastfeeding an eight year old???  What does ANYTHING have to do with breastfeeding an eight year old??  That's just probably the creepiest thing I've ever seen, and how or why it was associated with the UCLA gymnastics team is just beyond me.  

So they released the mascots for the London Olympics today.  Cute video.  But creep-ass mascots. 

I don't even know what they are.  The five minute video did nothing to explain what the heck it was.  It shows a man retiring, then going home and welding these... things.  Then the kids play with the things, which was kind of cute.  But then a rainbow summons the things, and they have to go off to serve the Olympics.  And I haven't even had any acid today.  

It's a one-eyed... thing.  When I hear "one-eyed" I only think of one thing.  And it's not the Olympics.

because there's never an excuse for stirrup pants!

I know I've been going crazy with the montages, but you have to understand, I have a lo-ho-hooooooot of time on my hands.  Obviously.  So really, all I have to do all day is watch Glee and make montages. 

I'm getting more pumped over Team USA.  They are solid.  Routines are starting to get just a *tad* more creative.  The requisite 10 second dance passages are getting much better. 

I still hate the leap passes though.  But that's not an American thing.  That's just a general, worldwide hate thing.

i'll have to take to the mic and deliver a diatribe. probably something about immigrants.

I love dance movies.  I love UCLA gymnastics.  So what better concept than to combine dance movies (in this case, Step Up 3D trailer) with UCLA gymnastics?

This isn't the best video I've done.  Sometimes you have it, and sometimes you don't, you know?  But I figured I'd post it anyway, because it is UCLA after all, and they deserve all the obsession and accolades they can get.

you tell me when you're ready, and i'll make sure i'm fastidiously groomed.

So, there weren't a whole lot of WTFs for WTF WEDNESDAY this week.

Either I a) didn't spend enough time on Youtube or b) they're onto me.

Let's begin with this gem.  It doesn't have much to do with gymnastics, aside from some decent Memmel turns.  Done by seven year olds.  While wearing ruffly bikinis.  And stockings that look like garter belts. Dancing to Beyonce's "Single Ladies."

Seven.

Now, I like a good "Single Ladies" dance as much as the next person.  Especially when done by Kurt Hummel or Justin Timberlake.  And I'd be lying if I said I hadn't tried it myself.  But this video gets me on two levels.

1.  They're better than I am.
2.  They're seven.

Seven.

I am alternately horrified and intrigued.  Take away the horrible outfits and the risque moves, and you have super talented little kids.  And while the FBI might not believe me, what I see here is QUALITY of movement.  Sometimes you need to look past choreography, and in this case how sinfully young they are, and look at how well they move.  We've all seen enough shitty floor routines to know that it's not every day that a young girl walks in with the ability to dance like that.  And not dance like THAT, but just dance.  That's what really intrigues me.

Also, this girl looks like she is about to kick my ass.

Didn't quite catch that?  

There you go. 

The blonde one is intense.  And obviously the best.  Maybe it's because I'm fresh off of writing my Ariana Berlin post, but I am just blown away by really good hip hop lately.  And while it is so very hard to look past the sheer CREEPINESS of this entire thing...

...it is clear that these kids are loaded with talent.  It's really interesting.  And creepy.  Why am I jealous of them??

OK.  Onto slightly less weird things.

  

1.  Enough of the Shawn fat jokes.  2.  Alien arms creep me out to no end.  I pray SJ never ever looks like that.  3.  I don't even know.  If you've ever seen the episode in question, Peter goes blind, and accidentally gets into bed with Chris.   So what that has to do with Shawn I don't know, and I am totally cool never ever knowing.  

This has nothing to do with gymnastics, but I find it still follows today's theme of SERIOUSLY CREEPY.  I have no clue what young Olivia is singing about, but "Inside of You" is not a wise lyric/title in most cases. 

And last but not least, we have those douches from Make It or Break It.  Bitch has my job, and I am bitter about it.  

"I love my job."  Eff you. 

some people like to film themselves getting physical with their partner. i happen to enjoy revisiting the impeccable form of my jazzercise routines.

So, anyone who has ever watched gymnastics with me knows that I tend to FREAK OUT at girls who attempt hip-hop choreography by doing a couple of toe-heel moves. 

I'm talking this:

By no stretch of the imagination is this hip hop.

All these girls just randomly flex one foot, do some butt shaking or porn slaps, and call it a day.  Not only is it insulting to the real genre of dance, but it makes them look like those drunk girls who start dancing at the bar right before they knock over my drink. 

It looks even sillier when someone with perfect form is trying to do looser choreography.

Bounce heel, bounce heel.

Now, had these routines been done to some shit-kicking country music, it might have actually fit.  I might have actually enjoyed it.  But they're not.  Bama will splice like five Top 40 songs together, and just go to town. 

I ask you this: can you find ONE toe-heel move in any of Britney Spears' videos? 

GSE is an interesting case.  I don't know whether she's making fun of herself, or if I need to make fun of her.  Like, the first move is obviously tongue-in-cheek... right?  But it's the toe-heel kick that kills me.  WHY are these in every routine???

So Bama, and an alarming number of other NCAA girls, make atrocious attempts at stylish hip-hop choreography.  Big whoop, who cares?  It's not like anyone does it any better...

OH WAIT.

Although my brand new discovery may be old news to some people, I still feel as though it warrants a big HOLY BALLS.

Ariana Freakin Berlin.

I actually made this discovery in the spring of 06, and just didn't realize it until a few nights ago.  Back when I lived in LA, I loved going to UCLA meets on the rare Friday nights I had off.  The meet in question was against Utah, which I remember because my boyfriend at the time kept going on about how cute and awesome Kristina Baskett was, and that chuffed me a little bit.  At the end of the meet, there were a few exhibition FXs.  Some tiny little brunette girl came out, and totally ripped down the house with this amazing, clean, hip hop routine.  I was just blown away.  I wasn't even sitting that close, and yet I could see how big and clean every single movement was.  Maybe I just watched too much So You Think You Can Dance, but this looked AMAZING to me.  Needless to say, the crowd went batshit crazy. 

I don't even understand how she goes at that level for the entire routine.  I would drop dead about 15 seconds in, but she kills it the entire time. 

So the other night, I'm looking up random videos of UCLA floor for a thing I'm working on, and I landed on one of her FXs.  I watched it, and realized that she was the girl I saw 4 years ago!  I ran off in search for more routines.  

My little research has shown that she was discovered by Miss Val while dancing at Sea World.  Coming back from a massive car accident, everyone just assumed she was done with gymnastics, so she got into dancing instead.  Miss Val, patron saint of all things awesome, had her walk on the team, which lead to a scholarship for the next three years.  Now, she's a stunt double on our favorite, most accurate gymnastics drama, Make It or Break It.

If the producers are reading this, and God willing someday they will be, GIVE BERLIN A PART!!!  Give the girl some lines, and let everyone see her perform.  She is the type of talent that people should be watching. 

I SO wish I had remembered who she was after I saw her in the beginning of her NCAA career!  This whole time I thought it was Baskett who had done the mystery exhibition routine, which explains why I couldn't ever find it on Youtube.