A random girl's random gymnastics ramblings.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

some people like to film themselves getting physical with their partner. i happen to enjoy revisiting the impeccable form of my jazzercise routines.

So, anyone who has ever watched gymnastics with me knows that I tend to FREAK OUT at girls who attempt hip-hop choreography by doing a couple of toe-heel moves. 

I'm talking this:

By no stretch of the imagination is this hip hop.

All these girls just randomly flex one foot, do some butt shaking or porn slaps, and call it a day.  Not only is it insulting to the real genre of dance, but it makes them look like those drunk girls who start dancing at the bar right before they knock over my drink. 

It looks even sillier when someone with perfect form is trying to do looser choreography.

Bounce heel, bounce heel.

Now, had these routines been done to some shit-kicking country music, it might have actually fit.  I might have actually enjoyed it.  But they're not.  Bama will splice like five Top 40 songs together, and just go to town. 

I ask you this: can you find ONE toe-heel move in any of Britney Spears' videos? 

GSE is an interesting case.  I don't know whether she's making fun of herself, or if I need to make fun of her.  Like, the first move is obviously tongue-in-cheek... right?  But it's the toe-heel kick that kills me.  WHY are these in every routine???

So Bama, and an alarming number of other NCAA girls, make atrocious attempts at stylish hip-hop choreography.  Big whoop, who cares?  It's not like anyone does it any better...


Although my brand new discovery may be old news to some people, I still feel as though it warrants a big HOLY BALLS.

Ariana Freakin Berlin.

I actually made this discovery in the spring of 06, and just didn't realize it until a few nights ago.  Back when I lived in LA, I loved going to UCLA meets on the rare Friday nights I had off.  The meet in question was against Utah, which I remember because my boyfriend at the time kept going on about how cute and awesome Kristina Baskett was, and that chuffed me a little bit.  At the end of the meet, there were a few exhibition FXs.  Some tiny little brunette girl came out, and totally ripped down the house with this amazing, clean, hip hop routine.  I was just blown away.  I wasn't even sitting that close, and yet I could see how big and clean every single movement was.  Maybe I just watched too much So You Think You Can Dance, but this looked AMAZING to me.  Needless to say, the crowd went batshit crazy. 

I don't even understand how she goes at that level for the entire routine.  I would drop dead about 15 seconds in, but she kills it the entire time. 

So the other night, I'm looking up random videos of UCLA floor for a thing I'm working on, and I landed on one of her FXs.  I watched it, and realized that she was the girl I saw 4 years ago!  I ran off in search for more routines.  

My little research has shown that she was discovered by Miss Val while dancing at Sea World.  Coming back from a massive car accident, everyone just assumed she was done with gymnastics, so she got into dancing instead.  Miss Val, patron saint of all things awesome, had her walk on the team, which lead to a scholarship for the next three years.  Now, she's a stunt double on our favorite, most accurate gymnastics drama, Make It or Break It.

If the producers are reading this, and God willing someday they will be, GIVE BERLIN A PART!!!  Give the girl some lines, and let everyone see her perform.  She is the type of talent that people should be watching. 

I SO wish I had remembered who she was after I saw her in the beginning of her NCAA career!  This whole time I thought it was Baskett who had done the mystery exhibition routine, which explains why I couldn't ever find it on Youtube.


  1. Ariana is one of my heroes. She's also the reason I got into watching NCAA gymnastics and why I'm a Bruins fan all the way.

  2. PolyisTCOandbannedMay 9, 2010 at 6:30 PM

    That's very expressive. I think the more interesting dance is different somehow. The stock poses or running around doing leaps is boring. Almost rather watch them tumble all like men. But something genuinely interesting like this makes me appreciate the dance. (I also like it when the do cool forward rolls and back uprise pirhouettes and stuff like that...Rick at GC linked to one girl who was rocking the cool rolls (almost breakdancey)...plus Memmel back in the days used to do cool rolls.

  3. I was with Marceline Goldstein at NCAA Championships, Cirque scout.

    She doesn't follow "trends" in NCAA choreography. But looked at the routines from a circus perspective.

    Very disappointed in both the hip-hop and "porn" moves.

    She teaches hip-hop. And knows from Zumanity how to do a proper porn move. ...

    Rick Mc

  4. Not quite on topic, but here are some gymnastics cupcakes.. with no backward heads, legs, or torsos! The feet could use to be pointed, though...


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