A random girl's random gymnastics ramblings.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Comic-Sans Dreams: In the Style of Domi

Our dear, hilarious friend Uncle Tim has happened upon a treasure in the form of mid-90s websites dedicated to America's Sweetheart, one Miss Dominique Moceanu. 

Did you have dreams about Domi?  Did you scribble haikus about Nique during pre-calc?  Or maybe you went all out, and composed an epic poem detailing how you and the young Olympian would be together forever and ever, so very in love. 

Or maybe you had a dream about training with "Nique" and then taking her up into your "Chopper" for a ride. 

This guy did, and then submitted it to AAA Dominique: Dominique Moceanu.  The extra As stand for "Awesome All-Around American," so it appears they're missing an A.  Close enough. 

Let's take a peek into the dreams of James S., shall we?

*All typos and spelling errors are his own, as well as horrible choice of font.*  

**And as always, please click on the pictures to make them larger.  Enjoy!**


  1. oh my god, the poems, the POEMS! My favourite couplet: 'Dominique Moceanu, you are my idol / if I ever get a headache, I don't need a midol'

  2. Uncle Tim's Guide to Gymnastics Dream Interpretation:

    Amanda Borden:

    If you dream about Amanda Borden, it means that you're searching for success in your daily life. Right now, you're 1992 Amanda Borden, and you want to be 1996 Olympic gold medalist Amanda Borden.

    Alternatively, it could mean that you're still haunted by a bad 90s haircut and several embarrassing beam crotchings that happened on national television.

    Jaycie Phelps:

    Dreams that include Jaycie Phelps symbolize a search for one's own identity. You've been a great team player, taking a silver, bronze, and a gold at major international competitions, but you haven't established yourself as an individual standout. Don't worry, your time will come. Just as Jaycie Phelps eventually found her way and opened JPAC, so will you.

    MLT's pupils eating pizza:

    Ah! Pizza! A gymnast's forbidden fruit, especially if it has greasy pepperoni on it. You know that MLT would never allow this.

    Anyway, pizza is a dead giveaway that you feel guilty about something. Until you forgive yourself, you'll try to make atonement by strapping on some ankle weights and compulsively doing strength and conditioning throughout the day. While you're working on Excel spreadsheets, you'll flutter your legs, and on your way to meetings, you'll do jumping jacks. (Just watch out for the dead spot in the office floor. We don't want you to break an ankle or something.)

    Dominique Moceanu:

    Clearly, it means that you need to find a way to climb to the top of the sugar mountain. Whatever the F that means… (Thank you, Bela, for that saccharine gobbledy gook, which gymnastics fans will forever remember and say WTF.)

    More likely, it means that you're angry and have a personal vendetta against someone with a lot of power. Some will advise you to go to therapy and hash out your issues privately, while others will encourage you to announce your enemy's turpitude to the world in book form. You'll probably opt for the latter.

    Hugging and Kissing Dominique Moceanu in bed:

    Umm, how old are you?

  3. WOW. Just WOW. There are no words. What a lovely little gem to find on the interwebs. When was this masterpiece composed?

  4. The first little bit about them stretching at practice, then hugging and gabbing for an hour made it perfectly clear that whoever did this became a writer for Make it or Break it.

  5. You are wildly overestimating dom's flexibility on her split leaps. But the floor pose was dead on.