A random girl's random gymnastics ramblings.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

brunettes have no place in show business.

This is about a week late, but sue me.  I've been so into this book I'm reading, The Help by Kathryn Stockett.  All I've wanted to do is read, and not melt my brain away in front of my computer.  But, I finished the book, so now I'm back to brain melting.

So last week's Make It or Break It.  Now, I've gone on record saying this was a much better episode than we've seen in the past, but mind you that's not saying much.  Maybe it's just my brain already melting, but moments in this episode almost seemed a teeny tiny bit real.  Like Emily in the hotel room.

Aside from the useless clips in her hair (seriously, I use a million of these clips a day.  And they are not used for whatever she's doing with them), this was a cute moment.  I still do handstands all of the time, everywhere I go.  It's obnoxious.  But it's not like I can just NOT do them.  It's stress-relieving, it's mindless.  It just needs to be done. 

But that's about it as far as reality goes for this show.  Because soon we are inundated with sandwiches, Romanians in pink leotards, and dudes wearing sunglasses while doing pommels. 

So Nastia.  Yeah...  what the hell?  I'm not going to lie and pretend like I wasn't excited for her appearance on the show.  Despite all the evidence proving otherwise, the producers seem to actually know who real gymnasts are.  And Nastia doing commentary didn't seem like such a bad gig.  Right?

Wrong.  Turns out Nastia needed to hawk some Subway sandwiches instead.

Oy.  First of all, and I know this isn't news, but the wardrobe people on this show need to be fired.  Like NOW.  Poor Nastia.  The entire gymternet rips apart her physical appearance every day, and this outfit isn't going to help that.  The sad thing is, this outfit really is the culprit here.  First of all, purple = Barney.  Everyone knows that.  And how is her dress too big and too small at the same time?  That doesn't even make sense.  Thirdly, why do all gymnasts insist on wearing clothes that cinch their non-existent waists? 

 "Hiya Champ!!"

Where is her waist?  Oh, I don't know, right below her boobs, I guess.  And is she stuffing her bra?  Why is the top of her dress like a size XXXXL?  Or was that a ploy to make her look thinner? 

I just wish girls knew how to dress.  Flatter what you've got, and hide what you don't.  We all know Nastia is still skinny as hell, according to normal people standards.  She just needs to stop wearing such horrible, horrible things. 

The gymnastics in the episode, by and large, was very MIOBI-ish.  I don't understand how Courtney Kupets can play every single character. 

Also, I didn't know this, but apparently guys wear sunglasses while doing events inside. 

Also, they might want to be careful with the whole reflective sunwear thing.  You can see the camera man in his glasses.

See, I look at those sort of things.  I look in the background.  Now, warning, once things have been seen, they cannot be unseen.

Why, it's just a picture of Lauren, her ugly braid, and her super high Barbie ponytail.  Nothing to see here...

Oh wait. 

There it is.  Such a lovely, fine piece of gymnastics.  It should be noted too that this was the apex of the "leap."  It didn't get any higher, or splittier. 

So that's that.  What happens next?  Will we see real gymnastics?  Will we see more of Lauren's fugly hair?  Oh, the possibilities...  


  1. I heard Nastia was to fat to fit into the cloths they picked out so they had to scramble for something for her to wear. So sad

  2. PolyisTCOandbannedJuly 21, 2010 at 7:24 PM

    Paul Hamm is back in it! If we can get Jana to come back, all my contrarian followings will be back in it.

  3. Glad it wasn't just me who thought Nastia looked horrid in purple. She looked like she'd gained a good 30 pounds in that dress. I know she is skinny so it was just weird to see her looking like that.

  4. Please write more, I miss your humor!

  5. Nastia is not skinny in the real world anymore. She had flab coming out of her leotard at Nationals in 09. Check the pictures.

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