Spanny's Fancy ABCs

As you may well know, I gave birth to a wonderful, sweet, perfect baby boy.  Having a child is amazing, a miracle, a real joy.  It's also a huge time suck leaving me with no ability whatsoever to take care of my daily basic needs, let alone maintain a blog.  Showering, taking a dump with the door closed, eating- all expendable.  You know what I have tons and tons of time for?  Reading baby books.  Over and over again.  Same books.  Again and again.  To the point of memorization.

So, as I'm reading Dr. Seuss's ABCs for the GODEFFINGZILLIONTH time, I thought to myself

"You know what would be so much better than this drivel?  A GYMNASTICS version!" 

And thus, a classic was born.


Without further adieu, I introduce to you

 Big A, little a, what begins with A?

American Amanar Attack! 

and Amy Chow, with her pak. 

Big B, little b, what begins with B?

Bela bites a baby when she doesn't do the beam. 

Big C, little c, what begins with C?

Courtney, Courtney, Carly

All crotching the BB.

Big D, little d, what begins with D?

Dominique does daring-doo

While Diva Khorky says boo hoo.

Big E, little e, what begins with E?

Eberle's exercises; pain the eyes can see. 

Big F, little f, what begins with F?

Four floaty Frenchies attempt to do a Def.

Big G, little g, what begins with G?

Grand Gabby gets her golds,

as you can clearly see. 

Big H, little h, what begins with H?

High bar hottie Hambuchen, 

and Henrietta with some taste. 

Big I, little i, what begins with I?

Inbar-stalders, inverts too,

Illusions and Igor, woo!

Big J, little j, what begins with J?

Johnson, Shawn or Brandy,

both were rather dandy. 

Big K, little k, what begins with K?

Khorkina 1, Khorkina 2,

Kohei and Kasamatsu

Big L, little l, what begins with L?

Lilia's lovely leaping

leaves current leap fans weeping.

Big M, little m, what begins with M?

Mckayla Maroney, Munteanu,

Mustafina, Moceanu

Big N, little n, what begins with N?

Nellie's nipping numbers for her new friends again. 

Big O, little o, what begins with O?

Out-of-bounds and overtime, 

tiny little bitch of crimes.

Big P, little p, what begins with P?

Patterson, Ponor too.

Paul made his cabby boo hoo.

Big Q, little q, what begins with Q?

The quick queen of Qatar

can't really do the bars. 

Big R, little r, what begins with R?

A red, regal leotard 

can take you very, very far. 

Big S, little s, what begins with S?

Silivas' sassy splits,

easily the best.

Big T, little t, what begins with T?

Terin turns up on the beams,

and now she's picking Martha's teams.

Big U, little u, what begins with U?

Ugly ugly turning leaps

and Uchimura too!

Big V, little v, what begins with V?

Vika's very victorious with the velocity on her vault.

NOT.

Big W, little w, what begins with W?

Yes.  Yes it does. 

Big X, little x, what begins with X?

X-rays, x-rays, x-rays,

every gymnast gets.

Big Y, little y, what begins with Y?

Big Yurchenko just like Mack

and not a Roche to your back.

Big Z, little z, what begins with Z?

Zamolodchikova.

And that's it.