i just ended our toilet paper shortage with this enormous check. wipe away!

Jordyn Wieber announced today that she will be going pro.  Cue the insanity.

I don't really see what there is so get insane about, but, you know, it's the internet gymnastics community, so of course people will be losing their minds.

First of all, most people seem to be making this about John Geddert, because he was quoted saying that NCAA does "watered down" gymnastics in comparison to the elite level skills Jordyn is currently does

OMG THE AUDACITY.  HOW DARE HE?!

But seriously, NCAA does watered down gymnastics in comparison to the elite level skills Jordyn currently does.  Like, this is an indisputable fact, is it not?  Jordyn would not be throwing Amanars at the Super Six.  She would not be performing double doubles in the SEC.  Her Weiler kips might have stayed, but that's it.

Despite this fact, people are acting as if what Geddert really said was "NCAA sucks, they're all fat, I'm the King of Zamunda, so go get me a sandwich."  

Here's the actual quote:

"We still need to keep our eye on the prize," Geddert said of the London Games. "I'm supportive of the idea in that Jordyn isn't cut out for college gymnastics. I don't think the 14 weekends in a row doing watered-down gymnastics, that's not what she's all about. When you compete with the best in the world, I don't see her sinking her teeth into that type of situation."

What is so offensive about that?  God forbid that he's right, in that maybe Jordyn wouldn't be super fulfilled doing NCAA gymnastics.  Don't get me wrong, I love NCAA.  I get my subscription to CBS every year, I dutifully cheer on the best team on the planet (UCLA, obvs,) and I eagerly anticipate seeing the girls blossom and thrive in a supportive team setting.

But it's not for everyone.  I get that.  I'd be lying if I said I hadn't been hoping Jordyn would join UCLA and wow us with some divine Miss Val choreography, but I still appreciate that maybe collegiate level gymnastics is not for her.

But, yeah, what kind of monster is Geddert for supporting such a horrifying idea?  The key word here being SUPPORTING.  I have no idea why people are assuming that he made this decision for her.  It's not as if Jordyn is some orphan cyborg.  She has her own mind, and two parents who I would assume want what's best for their child.  Jordyn's not even like, the first in line as far as Wieber children go.  With a sister in med school, and a kind of hot (don't judge me) older brother who is some sort of high school football star, I don't think her parents are sitting around brainstorming different ways to exploit their child.  If this is what she wants, and what her parents want, then what is the problem?

Oh wait, the problem is Geddert acknowledging any of that publicly.  The nerve.  For someone who has produced like a jillion scholarship kids, I doubt that he has some sort of disdain for NCAA.

And let's get one thing straight.  John Geddert is 100% most certainly NOT a modern day Steve Nunno.

As someone who grew up during the Steve Nunno era, I feel very qualified in my opinion that he was batshit crazy.  I wrongly disliked Shannon Miller for years, because I simply could not enjoy anyone who willingly put herself into this man's clutches every day.  What was just an observer's opinion of him became totally validated when Claudia Miller's book came out, essentially confirming what I already knew to be true: Steve Nunno was a nutjob.

When Geddert starts demanding agent's fees from the Wiebers, maybe then I'll compare the two.

For now, I just see him as a coach who is very proud of his gymnast, but also of his own work as a coach.  Again, heaven forbid a man ever toot his own horn and say to himself "You know what, I coached this girl to a world title.  I must be doing something right."  Yeah, what an asshole thing to say.  As a coach, I don't think it's so horrible to take pride in your work.  I don't know a thing about him as a person, but as a coach, I think he's doing alright.

I think Jordyn will be fine.  I think it will be hard, in a market already loaded with Shawns and Alicias and fame-hungry Nastias. However, Jordyn is a gorgeous girl who is at the top of her sport, so I'm sure she'll be able to fight for her share of endorsements. 

In parting, a quote from Young Buck:

Its all about money

Gettin major paid

Stack your cheese in all different ways

Tote your strap and keep your khakis creased

Yeah friend (edited for taste), you a thug like me?

it tastes like pink. it tastes like pink!

A lot of gymnastics went down this past weekend.  Most notably the American "SCAM" Cup.

There are lots of opinions floating around the gymnternet right about now.  I will only be addressing mine, which is:

SHUT UP.

Seriously, everyone needs to just shut. up.

Starting with Al, Tim and Elfi.   I mean, they were offensive to EVERYONE.  Everyone sucked, Musty is nothing but a diva, Jordyn is pissing off the world, and HQS is that "Chinese woman."  

"Mustafina is glaring at the monitor because there was just a presentation for the Magnificent 7."  SHUT UP. 

"In 1996, Khorkina took off her medal, whipped it around her head, and threw it in the trash."  SHUT UP.

"I ran into Alexandrov in the hotel, and when I mentioned Jordyn Wieber, he turned into the hulk and ripped his shirt off."  SHUT UP.

"I totally speak Russian now, and I overheard Alexandrov telling Aliya to do the easy routine."  SHUT UP.

"Welp, I'm just going to kick my feet up and relax while Mustafina clinches her first American Cup title."  SHUT UP.  

"What are the chances of both Aly Raisman and Alicia Sacramone both making it to London?  Five unicorns out of twenty leprechauns."  SHUT UP. 

"Oh wait, Aly Raisman is still here?  Shit."  SHUT UP.

"That is a disaster.  That might be a fall, that might be up to five tenths off."  SHUT UP.

"She said she has no idols.  Not even Khorkina.  KHORKINA."  SHUT UP.  

"Ugh.  She fell on a super nice switch ring.  So fucking silly."  SHUT UP. 

These people have no business commentating on gymnastics. 

What is possibly more upsetting than the Trio's ignorance, however, is the gymnastics community's response to them.  People believe what they say, wholeheartedly, when we should all know better.  Just because Tim Daggett says it DOES NOT MAKE IT SO.  Now THAT is Gymnastics 101. 

Let's discuss the meet, shall we?

I will preface this rant with the fact that I am pro-Jordyn Wieber, and I'm not all that into Aliya Mustafina.  I thought at Worlds, while clearly the deserving winner, she was grossly overscored on almost all events.  She should have won even with real scores, so I don't understand why judges seem so blind to her faults.  I also don't see the ARTISTRY that every is always on about.  Aside from some lovely carriage and upper-body posture, she doesn't DO anything.  How can I rave about her choreography and interpretation of the music when she's NOT MOVING?  

However, I went into the American Cup with an open mind.  I wanted a clean meet, and I wanted fair scores.  I was very excited to see who was the legit winner when both of these requirements were applied.

Unfortunately, this did not happen.  

It was obviously NOT a clean meet, and the scores were out of control. 

There are a lot of ins and outs in gymnastics, especially with the open code, and the million zany deductions there seem to be.  It's a lot to learn, and even the most experienced of fans will inevitably miss something.  

But a lot of what happened this weekend was hard to miss.  

Let's start with vault.  We had a great chance to compare two vaults.  The same vault, done two very different ways.

A leg separation to start, a very early twist off the table, impeccable twisting, with a great landing. 

That vault was followed by this

Which one looks better?  Which one was cleaner, more dynamic, more complete? 

Despite the very obvious differences, the judges only scored these two vaults mere tenths apart.  Now, what is the point of having an open-ended code, with a zillion deductions all worth at least a tenth, if not to differentiate routines that are vastly different?  We might as well go back to giving every vault a 9.962 and have a 14-way tie for first place.

I'm not going to lie, I didn't even cap UB.  Mustafina's UB is HOT, and even without Jordyn's fall, she obviously cleans house on this event.

But it's fair to say that Jordyn won vault, while Aliya won uneven bars, is it not?  1-1.  Let's keep that in mind.

I did do beam and floor, and I'll post those tomorrow.  I don't want to have a gazillion pictures in one post.   

But here's a preview.