you sing like diana ross and you dress like you own a magic chocolate factory.

I understand that it has been like, two weeks since the fact, but that doesn't matter because I am still seriously butthurt by Nastia Thunderstealer Liukin.  All summer long, she was all "Please, don't ask me about my comeback.  I want all of the attention to go to the real, competing gymnasts."  As it should be. What a welcome surprise that was, after the last 2+ years of her trying to play coy.  Here's my comeback FX routine, complete with 3 backhandsprings in a row!  Johnny R. stole my phone, and "leaked" videos of me doing bars!  Here's a picture of a rip on my hand!  What does this mean???

My response has always been, "Less talky, more el-grippy." 

My annoyed ambivalence turned into annoyed rage in the moments following Team USA's amazing prelims competition.  I was literally and figuratively high at 3 o'clock in the morning, due to a combination of painkillers and the stellar 100% hit ratio of the team.  No pill will ever make me happier than knowing that Miss Gabrielle Douglas was the 5th best gymnast in the world on that day.  My fingers were cramping from having to reload like ten different pages for quickhits every five seconds, but I still managed to update Twitter maniacally.  When from upon my Twitter stream should I see waning reports of the historical team competition, and increasing frenzy over something else...  whatever was it??

Fucking Nastia. 

That bitch managed to play coy, keep mum, drag everyone along, whatever you want to call it, for nearly THREE YEARS.  And chooses this moment, this ONE MOMENT that had nothing to do with her, and decides to make it all about her.  Forget Dougie rocking her meet, or Jordyn qualifying in 2nd (and making UB finals say whaaaa) or Vega overcoming insaneo nerves to nail her shit.  It was all about NASTIA.

I mean, I guess Team USA did alright without her.  But really, is a team without Nastia really a team?  Do results without her name at the top really even count?  Probably not. 


AND ANOTHER THING!  Did she really say that the reason the team did so well was because she gave them a pep talk right beforehand?  It was the result of her motivational speech that gave the kids a "light in their eyes."  That wasn't a light, that was the reflection of your salmon colored parachute blouse.  Stop trying to take credit for shit that you had nothing to do with! 

She could have chosen any other moment to make her grand announcement.  She could have waited until worlds was over.  She could have waited until the day after prelims.  She could have waited an HOUR after prelims, but chose not to.  Why?  Because Nastia (or her agent) needs all of the attention always.

I know I'm being harsh.  I actually like Gymnast Nastia.  Should she miraculously regain and upgrade her skills, then yay for her.  The team would be lucky to have her.  THAT SAID, I'll believe when I see it, and until then, STFU. 

you're a constellation of stars. i just hate to think you might be ignoring some of them because they don't burn quite as bright.

There has been a lot of chatter lately about the upcoming Nastia Liukin Supergirl Cup.  Making its debut last year, the NLSGC was intended to be a high-production competition for Level 10, up-and-coming athletes who had never before had the chance to experience performing on a podium. 

Awesome!  A meet designed to showcase and inspire Junior Olympic gymnasts!  What a fantastic opportunity for these girls, right?  Whether it was a chance to experience a big-time meet with the TV cameras, or a chance to be seen by the top NCAA recruiters, there appeared to be a lot incentive to qualify to this inaugural event. 

Rumblings regarding the shady qualifying procedures began almost immediately.  Organizers paid a hefty sum of $2,500 in order to be considered a "Nastia Liukin" qualifying meet.  However, that money was in turn donated to the Nastia Liukin Fund, which provided scholarship money to talented girls who may not have the means to train and compete, so that's actually pretty awesome.  The confusion came with actually qualifying the girls: each invitation determined their own selection criteria.  One meet might qualify the top Junior and Senior AA competitors, another meet might qualify the top two girls from the 5th of 8 sessions.

The real issue quickly became the question of WHO exactly was allowed to qualify.  At one of the very first invitationals, the CGA Club Parents Coaches Spectacular (nice name, by the way) not one but two elite girls became the top qualifiers. 

Lexie Priessman, Mary Lee Tracy's latest meal-ticket from Cincinnati Gymnastics Academy, qualified to elite in June 2009 by winning the Parkette National Elite Qualifier.  Later that summer, Lexie placed second at the US Covergirl Classic, on a PODIUM, and went on to compete in Dallas at the Visa National Championships, also held on a PODIUM. 

She was followed by Amelia Hundley, also from CGA, who qualified to elite at the 2009 Excalibur Cup.  Despite competing at the US Classic in both 2009 and 2010 (both on a PODIUM), and Nationals in 2010 (PODIUM), Amelia has qualified to the 2011 NLSGC, to compete on the PODIUM yet again.   

In the following months an additional twelve elite girls would qualify to the final meet.  14 girls, out of a field of 36, had competed in elite prior to the Nastia Cup. 

In some cases, I find it acceptable.  If an athlete qualified to elite, gave it a whirl, found it wasn't to her liking and then dropped back down to L10, that's fine.  I don't find it fair to punish a girl for trying elite.  What I don't find acceptable are girls who are in the MIDDLE of their elite careers competing in meets meant for level 10s. 

In the end, Mary Lee Tracy's tiny 13 year old outshone the older level 10 girls to win the first Nastia Liukin Cup.  She got a fancy new leotard, a bunch of airtime, and lunch with Nastia herself. 

Many fans hoped that the meet's organizers would fix the qualifying issues for the second cup, to be held in March 2011.  Either change the premise to simply being another elite meet, or limit who is allowed to qualify.

This did not happen.

As of this past weekend, two girls have qualified to the NLSGC.  Are they two new-to-the-scene, undiscovered kids?  No.  Are they two high school girls who are hoping that maybe Miss Val will give them a look?  No.

The first qualifiers for 2011 are Amelia Hundley, again, and Kayla frickin' Williams.

Oh yeah.  Kayla Williams.  You know, WORLD CHAMPION Kayla Williams.

You remember, that one time when she went to the WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS and competed ON A PODIUM and won the GOLD MEDAL in front of the WORLD. 

Don't get me wrong, I am a fan of Williams.  I was pumped when she won (on a PODIUM) and I think she will fit in swimmingly at Bama.  It's great that she's back in shape, and that MLT hasn't destroyed her completely.  But I just don't see why in the world she would even WANT to compete in this meet. 

Is she super excited to meet Nastia?  Pretty sure they've been to camp together.

And who is going to get all of the TV time, I wonder?  Some nameless 18 year old looking for a scholarship?  Or the newest little pixie with the latest tricks?  Or maybe, just maybe, the huge comeback story of the Cinderella world champion?  

I blame Mary Lee Tracy for this, for all of this, I do.  She started the trend last year when she qualified two elites from her home gym at her home invitational.  Other groups simply followed suit.
I hope this all gets ironed out.  The original concept had so much potential. 

But, as it stands, this is just another opportunity for those chosen gymnasts to remain chosen.  To quote Emma Pilsbury from the hit Fox TV show Glee:

"You're a constellation of stars. I just hate to think you might be ignoring some of them because they don't burn quite as bright."