I am such a stickler for pretty presentation hair, and this weekend's NCAA finals just about gave me an aneurysm.
I mean whatever. During workout, wear your hair however you want. Just keep it out of your face, grips, and coach's face, and you'll be fine. But during a meet... cmon girls.
I'm not saying get all China and hair clip yourselves to death.
But one or two clips and some hairspray never hurt anyone.
It's maddening. It really is. You know what else it is? Karma. Because when I was younger, I thought it was super cool to wear my hair in my face, and it drove my poor mother insane. This is the universe's payback. Make it "hip" to wear your hair all wackadoo and fro-y to these big meets.
I get it. The "I don't give a crap" look is in. People wake up two hours early so they can mold their hair into some mess that looks like they just rolled out of bed. That's just fine. But these girls... especially the NCAA ones, kind of defeat the whole look when they top their "I woke up seven minutes ago" look with a face tattoo and 70 hair ribbons.
I know you spent time to look like that. I know you did. To me, this is no different than the kids who wear their pants down to their butts, or have the Cousin It look that Justin Beiber kid made so popular. You look like a tool. In ten years, you're going to see pictures of yourself, and wonder "what the effing eff?"
Girls, this is the big show. You have fans, parents, and supporters all watching you. So why do you allow them to be distracted by your MESSY EFFING HAIR???
ASac. We all know you're cool. You have as much street cred as any elite gymnast is ever going to have. You punched a guy out on Youtube. But does that really make you too cool to do your hair?
I'll give you a pass for the Brown hair, as you were probably just trying to fit in with the other "I think I look awesome" NCAA girls.
But at the Olympics?? Really??
"I'm just at the Olympics, yo. I'll do what I want. You tell Martha to take her full ponytail and stick it up her ankle-breaking ass."
Like, I am so not a fan of the Nastia hair poof.
But at least the girl tries. And I actually quite love the side braid. It shows that you don't need 400 hair clips and a gallon of glitter to show up for a meet.
Let's touch more on NCAA hair. Now, if judges are allowed to deduct for leotards and bras and nailpolish, then they sure as shit should be able to deduct for distracting hair. I'm not saying you should be able to deduct for a Silivas-style makeover. It's not about preference. But when the hair is in the gymnast's face, whipping around, I think it absolutely takes away from the overall performance.
Kyndal Robarts. My opinion of Robarts can be expressed best by Santana of the popular hit TV show, and my absolute life obsession, Glee.
"You're about as sexy as a Cabbage Patch Kid. It's exhausting to look at you."
She is so cute, it hurts my face. I have no doubt that she just defecates sunshine and rainbows. But the hair. THE HAIR!!!! Number one, it looks like she has sideburns. Two, she's one gasp away from inhaling the ends of said sideburns. She took the time to do a mini-poof, brand her face and even throw in a cute ribbon. Did she take extra time to pull the ends out of her bun, and stick them every which way?? Yes she did.
This seems to be the trend. I might shellac my hair back, but then I'll haphazardly tie an elastic in, and then see how poofy and stringy my hair can become.
As seen here:
Yeah, Utah. I'm talking to you.
Seriously. Putting your hair in a bun is so NOT hard. And if you care at all about body line, your hair should probably be in a bun. A bun like this:
Although I do give Sloan credit for trying. She is the first in a long time in elite to stray away from the hair straightener and back towards the bun. Maybe next time.
This is more than just my curmudgeonly old opinion. If your hair isn't secured well, it could very well just flop out in the middle of a tumbling pass. And then what are you going to do?
So girls, in summation, not giving a rat's ass = looking like a rat's nest.