A random girl's random gymnastics ramblings.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

students that ate the ravioli today and are not up to date on their tetanus shot should see the school nurse immediately.

I know it's a day late, but whatever, it still counts.  This is as big of a WTF as any. 

This is frightening on several levels. 

First of which, this comes from a seemingly professional, legitimate publication.  It's the Gymnastika magazine, which in itself is awesome because lord knows I'd love for the US to come out with an in-depth gymnastics magazine that was more about gymnastics and less about Chellsie Memmel brand mats or whatever stupid ads the pages are filled with.  This picture was included above a calendar, which leads us to ask

Why does a seemingly professional have a bunch of teenage girls trying to pull off a sexy calendar look? 

If this was, in fact, the goal, then they missed it.  Big time.  The exception of course being Kurbatova.  She's just divine.  I love her dress, and the heels.  She looks like a classy Macy's business suit model. 

The other girls though, YIKES YIKES.  We've all seen them dressed up in their classiest club wear before.  It seems to be the Russian Facebook photo de-jour.  And if you put on your tightest blackest dress, then obviously you need the heels to match.  But why in the world are they on the beam in these things?  Mary Lee Tracy won't even let her girls put chalk on the beam, let alone stomp around in their clod-hoppers.  This is all sorts of wrong.

I'm going to play Tyra for a moment, as a female is who older and therefore much, much wiser.

Musty- Do you have a bellyache?  Unless this is the case, do not pose like that.  Legs together missy. 

Semy- Burn that hat.  I've seen it several times now, and it is not acceptable.  Also, the thick straps on your shoes make your legs look stumpy.

Nabs- I like the bangs pulled back.  Do this more often.  Why are you leaning forward and sticking your rump out?  You don't do this in gym, and you shouldn't do it in real life.  Also, white shoes do not go with a black and red dress. 

Demy- Sigh. 

Afan-  You need to stay away from strapless.  When you shrug your shoulders all the way up to your ears, it makes them look even bigger.  The black tights together with those horrible strappy shoes really cut off the leg line. 

Kurbs- You are perfect and I love you. 

Hopefully some real gymnastics news comes out soon so I have something to do other than rip on teenage girls for their terrible fashion choices. 


  1. Semy looks like some kind of Bronx arm candy. All she needs is an over-the-top Latina accent and some hooker nails.

  2. Spanny, have you thought about doing a fashion police article about NCAA Leo's? There is def some good material to comment on! haha
    -Holly- LA-

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