A random girl's random gymnastics ramblings.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

please stick a sock in it or ship yourself back to scotland.

Motivated by the hilarious Full In Full Out, I decided to check out what search terms people are using to randomly end up on my blog.  Most results are pretty expected.  "Spanny Tampson" "Big Fake Smile" "Girl Gymnast With Big Butt"

Come again?

If the internet has taught us anything, it's that the majority of people are huge perverts.  I have no idea who the huge pink-assed gymnast everyone is searching for is, but I do know some of the other search terms are kind of hilarious. 

(click to enlarge)

So, a few things.  Enough with the gymnastics ass, seriously.  And WHY GOD WHY did TWO PEOPLE search for a hot Mary Lou Retton???  I can't even...  I pray that it was not MLR our British friend was looking for when he searched for this:  

I understand that I must take some of the blame for these disturbing searches, due to the nature of what I write.  For example, if I call Kelly Parker an adult baby, then it only makes sense that this would be one of the search terms:

I'm not even a little sure about what those are.  Is that what they call the people who are obsessed with being babies?  I watched a My Strange Obsession episode about that once.  They didn't mention anything about Princess Pull Ups.  

Again, a few issues here.  Is there really a strip search technique?  If so, how am I suddenly the expert on such a technique?  I have never been on the receiving or giving end of a strip search, so I'm really at a loss here.  

Additionally, I don't know one single person who calls it "lovemaking."  

Moving on to some less perverted, but equally laughable results.  

Now every time I see Nastia on beam, I'm going to be thinking about Just Jack.  Just Nastia!

It's no longer Britney.  It's Nabieva, bitch.  

Me too, random googler.  I too am "so jealos."  Did the searcher think that Google was a close gal pal with whom she could confide in that she was "so jealos" of Jordyn Wieber, thus needing pictures?  The youth of today scare me. 

Steve Nunno also scares me.  And apparently I'm not the only one.


  1. Hahaha this had me laughing out loud to my self the entire post. People are nuts!!

  2. I love that they managed to spell "Jordyn Wieber" correctly, but not "jealous".

  3. Tampson, I laughed so loud while at my desk that people walking by thought I lost it.

    "MIOBI pictures of Emily being gay." HA!

  4. HAHAAHA that's fantastic..... I also liked "gay bent wrist" or whatever it was.

  5. I am gonna make it my mission to make off the wall search topics lead me to this site.
    GAME ON!

  6. Aahahaha this made me cry laughing. PICTURES OF EMILY BEING GAY. Win forever.

  7. I was CRYING I was laughing so hard! Omg... I always get to your blog through Spanny Tampson, but maybe I should try "Spanny Tampson is effing hilarious" for a change. I'm really disturbed by the two people who think Mary Lou Retton is hot (she's a pretty woman, but by no means would I describe her as "hot".)

  8. So I've been reading your blog from the beginning so as not to miss any of the hilariousness, and obviously laughing out loud is a thing that's been happening a lot...but the part about the "jealos" Google searcher: SO FUNNY. Sooo funny!!! The ways people phrase their searches just...confuse me.