A random girl's random gymnastics ramblings.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

your hideous bowties are provoking me.


Will it never end??  I will admit, some of these were tricky.  They almost looked like different leotards.  Then, upon closer inspection, I realized that THEY ARE ALL THE SAME DESIGN, and GK seriously needs to brainstorm a few new ideas. 

Here are the top three most obnoxiously overused leotards currently in rotation.  

1.  The Freaking Pinwheel.  

I touched on this back in September (before everyone else started jacking the topic.)  I am over the pinwheel.  It could have been cute, but everyone and their mother decided to use it, so hipster leotard critic judges their choices.  

This is how you know it's time to move on.

2. The Ugly Starfish

Woof.  This isn't even a cute leotard, like the Freaking Pinwheel.  It is overused AND ugly.  It looks like they all really suck at paintball.  

3.  Pube Curls

This was another one that I touched on in September.  Obviously, most people remember Mustafina for wearing this during her dominating win in Rotterdam.

 However, just about every other single girl on the planet has also worn this leotard.  

And yes, even MIOBI..  

The earliest exposure appears to be from Ivana Hong back in 2007, where she wore like 7 different versions of this leotard.  I believe Bross also wore it that year (is that pic from Pan Ams?)  It's all gone downhill since then.

Joining The Freaking Pinwheel, The Ugly Starfish, and Pube Curls is Surf Boob.  While Jordyn and Sam wear the exact same version, GAGE and MLT make a few more... artistic choices.  And by artistic I mean horrifying. 

Clearly due to heavy Australian influence, Fucking Swirlies are as popular as ever.  

I imagine this was the phone call that was made in designing Macko's leotard. 

Jiani Wu: "I see everyone has been enjoying this Fucking Swirlies leotard.  You know what would look great?  #Hotpink and neon green!  GK, can you help me?"

GK Rep: "We sure can!" 

Now, these are Different Fucking Swirlies.  While the actual swirls are smaller, they're still there, and that's annoying.  

Now, our next example is special, as it is overused in THREE different continents.  Continental Fucking Swirlies.

AOGC, consider yourself on leotard watch.  Four AOGC leotards have been repeat offenders.  FOUR.

***OMG.  I am literally finding these faster than I can write about them.  I looked up a Youtube video of Sloan for reference on a different leotard, and BLAMMO.  Continental Fucking Swirlies.***

The following leotards, while not as violently overused, still have a match somewhere in the world.  And that's pretty embarrassing.  

I call this one The Fugly Jacket.

Next, we have Stringy Fucking Swirlies. 

Kyla and Sabrina, both repeat offenders, are modeling what I like to call the JACKKNIFE!


Is there a GK outlet in Moscow or something?  As Cher Horowitz would say...

"Do you prefer 'fashion victim' or 'ensembly challenged'"?

 *match courtesy of  IzziB1220*

My final two examples belong to everyone's favorite ABC Family classic.  Again, if you match Emily or Payson, it's time to rethink your choices.  

I hope we've all learned a little something here.  

1.  I am always watching.  And if you get lazy with your leotard choices, expect to be called out on it. 

2.  Don't jack my blog ideas.  Obviously, there are many many many many MANY repeat offenders to be found.  Go find those. 


  1. God, this is ridiculous! You'd think there'd be enough leos that there wouldn't be THIS many repeats.

    Samantha Partyka had the pinwheels at Championships too!

    Hilarious post Spann. :)

  2. love your blog! nabieva wearing a black version of the nastia pink is almost appropriate in an "it's nabieva, bitch" kind of way... good spotting on the some of them, the colour scheme makes some of them look so different from others with the same design

  3. You are so damn funny. Love this! But I have to admit....I like some of these leos. Not the Swirly Family, but the Alicia/Vika and the Nastia/Nabs are pretty. I KNOW I AM SORRY WILL YOU STILL LET ME READ THIS BLOG?!

  4. Nastia also wore a version of Pube Curls at 2007 Nationals. It's the black and silver one.

  5. I was chuckling at Pube Curls and then I got to Surf Boob. LOLOLOL.

  6. Wait... that last MIOBI one almost looks like something I've seen on a South African gymnast... is it or do I need to go find my glasses? And I think the Russians also have the short sleeved version in the same color as Alicia is wearing.

    Great job as always! I do kinda like some of them though. Others should be relegated to only practice wear, while a couple (read: pink) should be recycled into something other than a leo ASAP. :)

  7. Also, can we send this to GK please?!?! Maybe they will change designs or at least show your matches on their website so people will know who they are copying/which color combinations look the best together. :)

  8. Tampson, Tampson... I remember SOMEONE saying they liked McKayla's leo a few months back (her Nationals pin wheel).

    Great post!

    Remember Spanny Tampson readers: You read it here FIRST! :-)

  9. I am a bit confused as to whether my daughter's optional leo is pub curls of f'ing swirlies, is there a way I can find out? However, this year our gym finally went with Alpha Factor since gk has blown for like the last 3 years! Thank you very much, totally sharing your link with my fellow gym moms!

  10. I was looking at some pics from this year's worlds and there was a country with the same leo design as the one shown in the pics of Musty and Sloan.

  11. Shanxando/Other Tampson, I DID like it. And then I realized everyone else on the planet was wearing it. And Lauren Tanner. LAUREN TANNER.

  12. A pleasure to read, as always.

    Fucking Swirlies.

  13. Pube Curls, Fugly jacket, and Stringy Effing Swirlies are definitely the WORST leotards out there. I will give props to one repeat offender, though, and that's Caquatto. While many may hate the neon colors, at least her versions are by far the most original!

    Also, I am surprised by WOGA's glaring lack of creativity here. Why aren't they all wearing SuperGirl by Nastia? They would be the only gym wearing THAT ugly shiz at the next Nationals... GUARANTEED.

  14. you also forgot the star leotard that rebecca bross, mattie larson, keely mcneer, etc wore in 2010. And Casey Jo Magee in 2011.
    surf boob: jana bieber visa 2009
    pube curls: nastia liukin 2007, emma sibson 2010, alicia sacramone 2010,
    jakknife: kayla williams 2009,

  15. Pube curls. Finally someone has found an appropriate name for that atrocity.

    I'm a little surprised you didn't touch on the protozoa leo. Everyone everywhere has worn it since at least 2003.



    That is all.

  17. Oh dear lord I found another
    worn on the same night too! Ahhh it never stops!

    1. that was the only one i saw missing from the list! It deserves it's own post! And every college team on the planet uses it too, don't forget that!

  18. Leotards used to be so much better in the olden days. Remember Comaneci's leotard with the drawstring round the middle?
    I always liked the red leotards with the white stripe up the side of the body and along the inner arm - so lengthening and elegant.
    Although the idea of producing a leotard design in many different colours is quite an old one - remember Elena Davydova's pink-scattered-with-flowers? Exactly the same as Natalia Ilienko's black-scattered-with-flowers only pink. And I think Ilienko probably inherited hers from Mukhina.
    Leotard designers should be forced to perform a beam routine wearing one of their most hideous designs.

  19. Hi Spanny, I love reading your blog, but I'm curious--what leotards DO you like? Examples of goodness and good taste and why you like them would be a great future topic.

  20. The Netherlands wore a blue and red version at 2010 worlds of the match Aliya and Bridget have. I think you referred to it as a sawblade neckline once?

    And Voila: http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/0aZhgCBbCM5Bc/350x.jpg

  21. Kayla Williams wore that jackknife bit during her brief rise on the elite gymnastics scene.

    PS, I accept no spanny imitations. You're the real deal.

  22. Pretty please with sugar on top, do more posts about MIOBI. They are so amusing. You rock!

  23. I feel as if the pube curls and surf/swirly shit is evolving from the Flame Vibe from a few years back. For the record, I LOVE the Gym-Max leos---Emerald FTW!

  24. Something tells me I'm in trouble. Our current competition leo is the Surf Boob in black and white, our spirit leo is the red Starfish, and our new comp leo is going to be the Pinwheel, and it is HIDEOUS! *face palm*

  25. i found a couple more...

    Stringy Freaking Swirlies - Annette Miele 2010 Visa day 2

    Different Freaking Swirlies - Lauren Beers 2010 visa day 2

    Jaclyn McCartin had the same leo as jordyns 2011 day 2

    Noticed these when i was looking at 2010 nationals vids

  26. Just found a new offender from the Voronin cup - Valeria Maksiuta is wearing a version of the USA prelims leo from Beijing. At least it's not a BIG international competition, but still. Come on, VM, that leo is SO 3 years ago.

  27. http://www.examiner.com/gymnastics-in-national/2011-covergirl-classic-senior-competition-picture?slide=35725121#slide=35725121

    anna li pinwheel 2011 covergirl classic!!

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  29. I really like the pinwheel leo. Mckayla Maroney does it best. I like the one you have her pictured in, but the one Mckayla wore at Secret Classic is even better. That, along with the blue Texas Dreams leo, were my favorites. I do wish the had left that star thing off though. It was really pretty from behind.