It is that time of year again. The time when every single blogger writes about the same thing. So instead of just ripping off other people's blog ideas and trying to pretend they're brand new, I'm going to do my Thanksgiving post a little differently this year.
These are the things that I am most definitely NOT thankful for. I am thankful for all things in the world, sans these few.
1. Nastia's black heels.
These need to die. Black heels with pink dress? Check. Black heels with torn up acid wash jeans? Check. Black heels with shorts? Check. I'm sure these are super expensive fancy heels (we know this because she tweets pictures with brand names included) but that doesn't explain the fact that I have the EXACT same pair, and I got mine for $19.99 at Forever 21. I wore mine one time, and then forgot about them FOREVER, as Nastia needs to do.
2. Terrifying vaults.
I am really tired of holding my breath while watching vault. I do not want to be terrified while watching a sport I am supposed to enjoy. This is the same reason I don't watch horror movies. I do not find terror entertaining.
3. Code-whore leaps at the end of tumbling passes.
Just bring back the fucking LUNGE already! Someone in charge thought it would be super divine if we got rid of those icky-poo artistic lunges at the end of passes. So now, everyone is forced to do one of two options: either smash your feet as hard as possible into the mat and hop forward a bunch of times until you stop moving, or leap whichever way gravity allows. Clearly the concept of a rebound is far outside the WTC's mental capacity. Would I be upset about more routines having an Atler-esque double stag out of a huge pass? Absolutely not. Am I upset about 4 popped half-jumps being muscled after shoddy tumbles? Yes I am.
4. Pink leotards and 5. Bent wrists and 6. Butt shelves.
I must not be a #hotpink diva. Let's just chalk it up to that. I liked Nastia's light pink leotard from beam finals in 2007. I thought her 2008 AA leotard worked for her, on that one night. I have hated every single one I have seen since then. PINK IS OVER. It is done. Let it die.
She looks like a tree. This is why we don't have bent wrists.
7. Sixteen year old temper tantrums.
Just everything about this. Not cute.
8. Mesh leotards
I have no interest in seeing your bra straps. Ever. Why can't they just make that color of fabric without making it see through? I don't understand this at all.
So there you have it. Sometimes we can't be thankful for all of the things.