A random girl's random gymnastics ramblings.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

you make the underflaps of my breasts burn, like when i used to rub them with poison sumac.

Who among us doesn't totally love gymnastics and skating exhibition shows?  What a treat to watch our favorite athletes don skimpy outfits and prance around to butchered versions of today's Top 40 hits.  I, for one, have no problem paying to watch Olympic caliber gymnasts do back handsprings and walkovers. 

The Progressive Skating and Gymnastics "Spectacular" (irony much?) gave one Miss Nastia Liukin an opportunity to debut her new super secret Twitter guessing-game floor exercise.  Using music a bunch of girls have used before, Nastia put before us an aggressive display of butt-shelves and side boob.

Nastia has always been a posey gymnast.  Some people love it, some people hate it.  I never minded it, as it seemed to suit her.  She had fluid movement between poses, and dammit, they were HER poses.  No one could pull off a WOGA-posey routine quite the way Nastia did.  Although Lord knows they tried.  Oh, how did they try.

Her latest routine does not disappoint.  That is, if you really love ass, side boob, and wrists.

Oh, and skating dresses.  With a whole bunch of mesh cutouts.

This little number was ripped right the Vanessa Ferrari book, How to Succeed at Making Viewers Really Uncomfortable.  And successful she was.  She also seemed to be channeling a bit of the Gutsu here, wasn't she?  

The armbands are something, aren't they?  I wonder why they're there.  Not to be outdone, the high-cut neck really brings attention to her Lauren Tanner hair. 

But nevermind all that.  The real star of the show is the fantastic choreography.  It's like Nastia took her old poses, and just thrusted them into overdrive.

They're the old poses, just done a lot slower, and a whole lot deeper. 

One of my favorites, and a real classic, is the time-tested flamingo pose. 


In all fairness, she does hit a few really nice shapes.  This one never gets old.

And while this is still rather posey, I still like it. 

See, it's not all bad.  But for the most part, it was really, really bad.  There is still time, perhaps she will mellow out before/if she ever competes this routine. 


  1. i'm pretty sure there was skin colored cloth underneath. we werent actually seeing side boob. trust me, i'm a guy, i was really looking.

  2. I'm thinking perhaps the poses will mellow with full tumbling because she won't have energy for WogaPose on crack.

    Nice post as always, Spanny.

  3. I have lurked on STBFS for many moons, but this post - THIS POST! - makes me come out of lurking expressly to say "LOL." But seriously. I cracked up like a lunatic reading this. Well done!

  4. This post was fantastic. I really needed a break from the stack of work in front of me. Well done Spanny!

    -Holly, LA-